Building a sense of self through writing

If your child is struggling due to stress, grief, behavioral issues, or big life questions, they may not be sure who they are. Sometimes it’s more than low self esteem, but a lack of self… an inability to figure out what they like, what they’re good at, or even what their favorite food is.

Help your child along. Give her or him a few questions to answer or writing prompts or drawing assignments about themselves. Don’t use these as opportunities to tell your child that their self-perceptions are incorrect or should change. Instead, thank them for sharing and suggest they tell you more, either through writing or talking. The goal is just to give them a deeper sense of who they are, a deeper sense of self, and ultimately, improved self-esteem.

Suggest one or more of the following to your child:

• Draw a picture of yourself.
• Draw a picture of you and your family.
• When it’s sunny, I like to __________.
• My favorite place to go for vacation is __________.
• I love to eat __________.
• My feet like to __________.
• I’d like to invent __________.
• If I could make a movie it would be called __________.
• I’d like to write a book about __________.
• Someday, I hope I can __________.
• Write about a time you were helpful and how it made you feel.
• Write about a time you were sad and why.
• Imagine you could go back in history. Who would you like to meet and what would you ask that person?

A child writing about himself or herself could be a one-time activity, or you could get them a journal and have them write one thing every day about themselves. Remember, the idea is not for you to try and change how they think about themselves or to dispute what they write, but rather to give them new opportunities to  think about who they are and who they would like to be, developing an improved sense of self.

RESOURCES:

Kid’s Health: Developing Your Child’s Self Esteem

Oh, The Places You’ll Go by Dr. Seuss

Words in the Dust

A 13-year-old-girl in Afghanistan faces challenges

Her world is filled with heat and dust, and rules and chores, and sadness and fear. Her name, Zulaikha, means “a brilliant beauty” in Afghani, but the mean boys in her traditional village call her “Donkeyface.” Zulaikha was born with a cleft palate, problems with her mouth and nose that make it difficult to talk and eat, and gives her face an odd, disfigured look.

Zulaikha’s mother died at the hands of the Taliban for her love of books. The memories of her mother’s death linger, as does her mother’s love of Afghan history, culture, and literature. Throughout the book, Zulaikha is confronted with limitations based on her culture and her family, but she and her sister encourage each other, no matter how difficult life is.

A window of delight opens in Zulaikha’s life when a friend of her mother’s offers to teach her to read. And, her whole world changes when an American soldier notices her and arranges for her to have surgery to fix her cleft palate. Even though a new world filled with new possibilities arises, Zulaikha must still face difficulties and grief, surrounded by a family and a culture that struggles with change.

Words in the Dust provides a glimpse into a part of the world that many Americans are unfamiliar with. Written by a soldier who was stationed in Afghanistan, the book reflects his admiration and knowledge of the culture. At the same time, he creates a novel filled with emotion, choice, and change.

WRITING ASSIGNMENTS

Describe the two events in Zulaikha’s life that have caused her to feel grief and pain.

Write down three times in the book when Zulaikha feels large, overhwhelming emotions. What does she do to feel and express those emotions? What would you recommend to Zulaikha as another possible way to express her emotions?

DISCUSSION TOPIC

Can you think of a time in your life when both good, positive things were happening, and at the same time, bad, negative things were happening?

ART PROJECT

Look at some Persian poetry like what Zulaikha was learning to read. Some examples are at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Find a page or part of a page that you like and try to re-create it.

BOOK INFO

Words in the Dust by Trent Reedy. Ages 10-15. Find this book in a local library or buy it here… Words in the Dust.